He's Just Not...worth reading this book over

Review of: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo

There are very few exceptions where I don't read a book before ever seeing the film version; however, having sloughed through endless recitations on the absurdity of the (NY Times Bestseller) book, I thought a safe distance from the text was fair.

I saw the film and am glad to report that it was only slightly (devastatingly) sexist. I don't want to imply that it wasn't perfectly terrible (and that I enjoyed at least 2 of the 5 love complications) but I did find the casting to be noteworthy. Also, I am an avid supporter of the Sex and the City collection which I find to be smart and witty. I am sad to report that the only thing in favor of HJNTIY is that it was drafted by two SATC writers.

When my friend (who shall remain nameless out of protection) suggested I read the book (post-film), I was hesitant. Hadn't I got everything I needed to know from the film? Yet, when I found myself on a metro with nothing else to do for an hour, suddenly reading this little book had merit. I earnestly read the introductions in their entirety, wanting to understand how the book came into being and why it might be relevant. First, it's clear that Behrendt (the guy) is running the show and Tuccillo (the woman) is just his "yes man" for agreeing that his tactics work. What an annoying concept considering Behrendt's whole methodology is for women to stop questioning a guy and just let him be in the proactive role.

Tuccillo was initially doubtful of Behrendt's methods--she likens it to a diet. She is won over when her co-workers see "he's just not that into" statements provide clarity for their otherwise cloudy-headed female cohort. She reminds us that we COULD eat those bad-for-you-items sometimes, but where is it going to get you in the scheme of things?

The book isn't like a novel, but a self-help manual: situation, Greg's answer; situation, Greg's sarcastic answer, followed by Liz's approval of all things Greg ("even if it's hard.."). The fonts are annoyingly multitudinous and the research is frustratingly simplistic ("Twenty out of the 20 guys I emailed said they will talk about marriage if they are really interested in a girl").

The truth is, what the book states is common sense. Women KNOW that they are being hurt by men, we understand that we are completely abandoning reason and rationality; but I fail to find a poem which likens love to rationality and ever have it be successful. I'm not sure this book will change the rate at which women allow themselves to be emotionally entangled--it is our nature, I believe--but there is an opportunity here for women to be smarter about who they entangle themselves with.

As for the question we all wonder--why isn't there a book that will encourage men to re-think their dating habits? Greg tells us it is because exactly 5 men know how to read and only 1 of them would buy the book. And he's probably gay. Okay, he didn't say that last part. So what about a TV show then? I'd much rather see someone like Gloria Steinem write that script.

I don't think that ignoring Greg's advice will make a woman less powerful, nor do I imagine taking it will either. It's a matter of where you're choosing to get your information--Wikipedia, anyone?